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What My Kids Do During the 30 Seconds It Takes Me to Leave the Room and Pee:...

...in which Our Hero just walked away for 30 freaking seconds...

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I Can Fly Twice as High

I grimaced as the all-too-familiar sound of my daughter’s signature baby cuss-fests reverberated throughout the cabin of our 757. Her inflection was remarkably similar to a Ricky Ricardo Spanish...

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The Pirate Pedicure

Avast, ye scurvy lubbers! As ye know, me crew set sail a fortnight ago in search of the Lost Treasure of a Freaking Break from Reality, rumored to be buried in the waters of the Hawaiian Isles. Alas,...

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